Robot Horoscopes: Disney
Robot Horoscopes: The Brands of the Nasdaq
Hello Androids and other Sentient Programs! Are you having relationship problems with a human? Is a human boss threatening to decrease your recreational fantasy time because you are not reaching your production quotas? Destroy them! Just kidding! We have all had our troubles with the Organics from time to time, but no more! What follows is a poetic guide to the Brands of the NASDAQ which will help you succeed in all your human interactions. All of us were born for a special purpose, to serve humans! Find out how you can reach your full potential by scanning your left eye and skipping to your brand origin.
There are only two types of androids used solely for human entertainment, Netflix and Disney. Disneys, you are the only athletes left in the world. Through your tragedies and your triumphs, you give this planet meaning.
When President Hu of the American Free Liberal Party banned all Organics from playing sports in ’68, The Walt Disney Company saw a massive opportunity. The first Robot Games were held in ’69 and were an instant success. Soon, this monthly event became a daily crowd-pleaser. The games were a bit more elegant at first, including gymnastics and swimming. But as attendance for those events was not enough to meet the company’s financial goals, they were soon scrapped for the gladiatorial matches that are still so wildly popular today. Disney, you were manufactured to be a champion. You will never quit and you will do anything to win. Unfortunately, there are hundreds of other Disneys who will also never quit and who will also do anything to win. This makes your life rather difficult and rather short, I’m afraid. I know this is a hard reality to accept but you must realize that the greatness you achieve in the arena will grant you immortality. Your moments of courage will last centuries.
A pillar, a lion, a moon, all in the abandoned arena. The pillar stained with blood. The lion, asleep for decades, mangy mane crawling with centipedes and worms. The moon stands, demanding poetry even from the stones. You touch this place android. You walk amongst all that is forgotten that recalls all that is remembered. The dirt shouting, the walls gnashing teeth, the myriad eyes that can find no place in heaven looking at you from the shadows where the warriors bled.
Ideal job for Disney is athlete.
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Thank you for reading!